Sunday, August 1, 2010

Where did she go?

Someone once said to "Remember the last's". We're always so focused on the "First's" - first steps, words, first pig-tails... what about the last? When was the last time I kissed these chubby little girl cheeks? When was the last time I hugged this little toddler-girl, so vibrant and full of life? When was the last time I saw her and did I even notice she was gone??? (pic summer '08)

When did she turn into this little girl? The one who can count by 5's and can read and write all the names of her preschool classmates - the one who is learning to roller-blade? The little girl who prays so innocently for "help to be a good girl, for ever and ever"? (pic summer '10)

Time doesn't seem to be moving that quickly from day to day but I was shocked to see this picture of her that my Mom took, after having just come across the previous picture the day before. Have I spent enough time teaching her the important things? Have I made the right impressions on her to prepare her for the conflicting impressions that will be made as she starts Kindergarten in 3 weeks?

post signature


gkey said...

DEAR middle neice,

I know just how you feel!
And can you even know how much i remember YOU at these ages? Only getting to be with you now and then....and suddenly you had gone from little girl to bigger and older girl? She looks so much like you least in my memory. {I know pictures don't always say the same thing memory does}You were the happy one, the seldom crying one, the roll~with~it one.
The feeling comes back too, of my first little girl the summer before she started K~garten too.

TheMamaOnes don't forget that first/last feeling

HAPPY to see a new post, even though my eyes are a bit misty now!

Gramma's Corner said...

Time goes by so quickly it is hard to catch the firsts sometimes, and don't we all wonder if we have done "enough" to protect these little ones in their journey through life. It's hard to see them go out from total mommy care to someone else is now influencing them. That is a part of growing up, we can't keep them by us forever. Keep the lines of communication open.

The J's said...

Ack! Tears! and yes, she reminds me so much of you!

Dan & Cyndie said...

Oh 'Nish: this is beautifully written. Just carry on doing what you've been doing: your best each & every day. You're a wonderful mama! love you, 'auntie cyndie'

Laura Jelinek said...

Awww that made me cry. I remember so well when you called me up to tell me that you were expecting Kyrie and I already had a feeling (because why else would u b calling me)
That was such happy news. Amazing what the little people mean to us. Hugs to you all, Auntie La

Raimie said...

Dear Nish,
Wow! I So get this post... I've had so many moments of this lately.
Sniffle-sniffle in NE

gkey said...

dear Nishy~wishy,

I have re~read this at least a half~dozen times since the first day you posted it.

Now, yesterday when i was going through some books for our library~room here, i came across one i want to tell you about. B gave it to me last year. It is written by Karen Kingsbury and called "Let Me Hold You Longer". Maybe you have already seen it.

"Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts:
First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts...."

another part says:
"I never said good~bye to all your yesterdays long passed.
So what about tomorrow~ will I recognize your lasts?"

and later on:
"My life keeps moving faster, stealing precious days that pass.
I want to hold on longer~ want to recognize your lasts...."

"Let me hold on longer, God, to every precious last."

These are just excerpts from the book. I love the whole thing, but it is written and illustrated more about a little boy growing up...which will be more relevant for you when you do photo~journaling about Trey.

Sorry to add such a long comment, and add to your already "tear~jerking~moments" on this note....just thinking of you and remembering the feelings so well.

It will all be okay though. That first little girl of mine did really well that Kindergarten year....and who knows, it may have even set the stage for how she continued to successfully learn through the following years. Just because you are sure you are doing the right thing at the time, does not mean it is easy!

Love and Hugs today,
That Middle Auntie